Hard Work and Determination Pay

Raising children in this day and age, Joe and I wonder how we will raise children who understand the value of a dollar and know that want isn’t the same as need. How do we instill the understanding of earning things?

This past Christmas each girl got a hand held video game. I have been against this for a long time, but the girls wanted them and we got a great deal, so we took the plunge.

Once the girls had the handhelds, they immediately wanted MORE games to play in them. Julia wanted Guitar Hero in the worst way. To get that game you have to purchase the game for $35 and then also purchase the guitar unit in order to play. To purchase everything ran anywhere from $80 to $90 depending on the store. It was more than was appropriate to spend “just because” and more crazy seeing that Christmas had only just passed. From the beginning we told her we weren’t going to purchase that, thinking we would buy it for her birthday or next Christmas, but not just on a whim. At one point I told her that if she could buy it with her own money she could have it. When she heard that she became determined to save her money and own it soon. I suggested that she should watch the sale fliers and see if should could get it for a better price.

So, every Sunday she would pour over every flier looking for Guitar Hero to go on sale. On the weekends she would do extra things to earn money and her allowance. She organized the food pantry without being asked, she would dust, offer to help with jobs that weren’t really her responsibility. It was great to see her have such a focus on a goal. She managed to save up quite a bit of money for an 8 year old. While all this was going on, Lexi got the bug for a new game too. She wanted to get the I Spy, but she wasn’t set on getting it herself. She didn’t really want to put the effort in to earning it.

So the day finally came when the ever elusive game was ON SALE! Best Buy had Guitar Hero as a package deal for the guitar unit and the game for only $60. Julia ran upstairs and brought out her money. She had saved $30. I had not given out her allowance yet for the week and that $5 brought her to $35. She was trying everything to convince Joe and me to kick in the extra cash. She has worked so hard to save this money. It was REALLY hard to just stand our ground and say no. Finally, Julia approached me and said “I have a $25 Target gift card in my dresser. Would you please buy that from me and then I will have enough money.” I thought that was a very creative thought. She had her goal within arms reach and she figured out a way to accomplish it. I think we were prouder about her industriousness than she was happy about getting the game.

Once Lexi realized that Julia was getting a game she was then really determined to get a game today too. She wanted her I Spy game and she wanted it NOW! Again I went with the “if you can pay for it you can have it.” So Lexi was defeated, but Julia came up with the idea that they could count the money in their piggy bank and come up with the $25 Lexi needs to get the game. Off they went to get the bank and count money. They sat on the living room floor for the longest time counting money. Lexi had just learned the value of the smaller coins so she was counting away right beside Julia. About an hour later, the girls had $25 in coins (which mostly Julia counted) and Lexi was grinning from ear to ear with pride that she had figured all this out and she would get a game. Julia was kind enough to let Lexi have the lime light. It was a great day for everyone. We were so impressed with Julia that day. She knew she was going to be happy and she wanted Lexi to be happy too, so she went out of the way to help Lexi.

When the day was over and we had pried the games out of the girl’s hands, they drifted off to sleep with big smiles on their faces. Joe and I started to talk about what Julia had accomplished and how she diligently worked at meeting that goal. On top of that, she didn’t want Lexi to feel left out so she figured out a way to help her too. It was then that we realized we are teaching the girls little by little that not everything comes easy and that hard work and determination do pay off. There will still be times that they get things too quickly and too easily, but we are also teaching them that "want" isn’t the same as "need" and there are times when you will have to work hard before you can reach your goal.

Old Memories made new again

It's February and that means school vacation for the girls. To them it feels like it takes forever to get here. To me it always gets here too quickly. I struggle with "I can't take time off" and "being home with the kids is the right thing to do." They just can't wait to have nothing to do but relax.

Once we get everything figured out and I get to stay home a couple days. Granny and Pops always help and take the girls for a couple days too. These are the days when it is just us at home that we get to make the best memories. You know those memories, when Mom would say "clean your room." "Did you pick up that mess you just made?" These are all great memories. It reminds us of the other memories like when Mom would make hot chocolate after we came in from the snow. Or she would play board games with us or treat us to McDonald's for lunch. Oh, remember when we would get to help bake, or decorate the Christmas tree. Not all of you had my mom, but I bet you all have memories like this or things that are special to just you and your family.

So yesterday after I finished my 12 hours at work. I tredged home in the dark and the snow. I started wondering what the girls and I would do today. I thought about going places or giving them things to do, then I thought about baking. Hanging out in the kitchen is a great way to make memories.

So at 6:30 this morning when Lexi climbed into bed to tell me it was time to get up...immediately followed by "what are we going to do today, Mom?" I quickly responded with let's watch a movie, play a game, and bake. Of course, to her that mean getting up right then and either playing the game or watching the movie NOW. All the while in my mind I was thinking...I'll sleep til 7:30 or so. Have a leisurely coffee, check on work, relax for a bit, then around noon get started on their stuff. So because it was our one special day this week I dragged myself downstairs and begged Joe for a dunkins.

After he delivered my coffee the girls quickly put on the movie. I got to drink my coffee, log into work to be sure I hadn't missed anything drastic, and be there with the girls while we watched the movie High School Musical 3. Once that was done they jumped at the chance to play Chutes and Ladders. Julia won....and for a change Lexi didn't mind that she didn't win. Once the game was done it was off to the showers and then into the kitchen.

The kitchen, that is my favorite time with the girls. Time to be together, just us, we get to laugh and learn. I always get to talk about cooking memories of days gone by. Special times I got to cook with my family. Like when Shirley's beautiful cherry pie was crushed by an orange Tupperware canister. Or when we lived in Boston and Susan cracked the egg open that had the dead bird in it. I also talk about how I first learned to make scrambled eggs when I was a little older than Juls and my mom teaching me. Learning to make cheese cake with my mom and watching her make Black Forest cake which was just delicious! I remember my parents eating the Eggs Benedict that I made when I was about 12. I thought it was fabulous, but when I think back now the eggs were runny and the sauce was a strange color.





The girls are always interested in baking. They can't wait to dig in and get busy. They measure the flour and sugar on their own now. Julia does a lot more than that too. Lex has mastered greasing the cake pan and she is so proud when she is done. "Look mom I didn't miss a spot!" Today Julia's pride was in making the caramel sauce by herself. She did a great job, too!



A lot of our baking is from new recipes that we like to try, but their favorite recipes are those that I have acquired from other members of our family. Today we baked Aunt Laura's Apple Cake and BOY did it taste delicious. Some of their other favorites are Nana Morgan's Brownies, Nana Mitchell's Sticky Buns, and Aunt Shirley's lasagna. I'm hoping to get hold of Aunt Susan's lemon bars so they can learn to love lemon as much as I do.

Every time we bake they learn a little more. We talk about little tricks to make things easier or ways to stretch what you have. Today I got to show the girls a little trick my mom taught me LONG ago. We took out the brown sugar for the caramel topping and it was rock hard. Luckily I had an orange peel. I told the story of how I was making cookies once and the brown sugar was hard. My mom showed me how putting the peel of an orange in with the sugar and being patient will soften the sugar. Julia was amazed that Nana knew this and even MORE amazed that it worked. She kept checking the sugar until it was soft.

It is great to have days like today where we can just hang around and have a good time being together. At the end of these days I am always reminded how much I like our kids and enjoy spending time with them. We got to be together talk about memories of the past so they could learn more about me and my family. And most importantly, today we got to make our own new memories. Maybe one day Julia will get to tell her daughter about the day Nana saved the caramel sauce with an orange peel and Julia got to make the caramel sauce all on her own.

Welcome Hazelyn

On Tuesday February 3rd we were excited to learn our neice Melinda Mitchell gave birth to little baby Hazelyn Rose! This would make Hazelyn our great niece. Hazelyn weighed 7lbs 11 oz. Both Julia and Alexa had been anxiously awaiting her arrival since they learned Melinda was expecting. Having been the youngest kids in the family for a while now, the girls can now say Hazelyn is younger than them. Shelly wasted no time and took the girls up to New Hampshire to visit the baby. Both baby and mom looked well and everyone had a great time.