Barf -O- Rama

A few weeks ago Shelly and I attended the girls school Christmas concerts. It's a special day for everyone as the girls get to appear on the school stage with their class and all the parents beam and make silly faces. That day started innocently enough. Shelly reminded me in the morning that I had to leave work on time that afternoon to be sure I made it to the school and got a good seat up front. I drove straight from work and was able to make it to the school in record time. I arrived before Shelly and hurried into the auditorium to save us primo seats. As I walked in however I saw that the first 5 rows were scattered with parents who were saving seats with coats, newspapers, and anything else they could get their hands on. I dejectedly took my customary seat back in the middle of the pack watching the others look smug in their secured seats. A few minutes later Shelly showed up. We sat and waited as the place really started to fill up. I strained to see if I could see Julia who's class was to be the first on stage. Finally the curtain went up and the parents clapped loudly. The teacher came to the front of the stage and thanked all of us for coming and proceeded to tell us what the children would be singing. I whistled and waved so Julia would see us. She sheepishly smiled and then ignored me. That seems to happens to most Dads. The music teacher started playing the piano and the first notes were barely audible..when it happened...the most unexpected, bizarre sight. There in the first row on stage a little girl in Julia's class, began heaving, one, twice, and then with one final heave came a stream of barf like I never seen before. It hit the floor and another stream followed soon thereafter. The crowd gasped, the children squealed....and finally the curtain abruptly closed. In an awkward attempt to distract us the music teacher began playing Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer on the piano. Soon the janitor came running with a mop and disappeared behind the curtain. It was both disturbing and priceless all in one. All I could think of was the scene from the movie "Stand By Me" where Lard Ass makes himself barf which causes the whole crowd to go into a hurl fest. Before the night was through, two other kids vomited on stage. It was the one time I felt fortunate that I didnt get a front row seat. It certainly was a night to remember